Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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