is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
