be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
sex in a hospital.. check
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
