Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
