I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
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