I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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