hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
