the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize