The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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