She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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