Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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