You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
