Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
