Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
