Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
