so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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