maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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