help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
