Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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