she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
