She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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