Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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