omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
