I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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