oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish you could order shots online.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
