your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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