I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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