So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
