you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
