I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
