guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
