Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
