I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
