i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
