I am puke
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
