fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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