Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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