Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
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