and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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