I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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