You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize