why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
