Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
