That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
