my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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