Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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