My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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