its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
