No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
