He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
