FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
