I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
