how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
