No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Acid is not a monday night drug
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
