I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
