even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
