Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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