thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Boobs speak an international language.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize