A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
