He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
