Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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