What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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